I did not get what I wanted

I went to church this friday, for our youth service and I don't know I guess I expected something more. I don't know why I always expect some great wave of the Holy Ghost to come down on us. Within that wave some of us would drown in the spirit and right there unprecedented miracles would occur. But it was the same as every other one. It just made me upset. I could see the potential and smell success, and I left more empty than the way I went in. I have not felt that way in a long time. The times that I feel that way is when I miss one Sunday and that's usually when I have work. I don't understand why I feel so down. It's like I should have came out of there feeling the way I usually do on a Sunday afternoon, by then the Holy Ghost has already cleared me of any spiritual attack and gets me going for another week. I want to reach the goal so bad. But those around me won't let me. If I could I'd make the journey alone and step up every chance I get. I'm so in love with praise. There's something about it, whenever it's time to do it a song comes to mind. My throat begins to formulate a note, my mind picks up the key and adds a tone to, my mouth controls the shape of the sound and all together a melody has been sung to please the Lord who created me with such a gift. That is why I must praise Him with such voice. I did not choose to be at the level I am at, but life is too short to just sit around and play. What happens when all is gone? I just that everyone would see this my way. That we are each other's support. Everytime I enter the House of God I am glad, I get on the keyboard and I begin to sing. It's like therapy, no like a drug that I am addicted. Once you take that away I am no longer the same. I begin to have negatice withdrawal symptoms. My brain can not function without it. It's the only thing that keeps me happy, sane, and alive. So when I left I was disappointed in myself, and in my friends. In myself because maybe I did something wrong. I probably said something wrong, but I will not apologize because we have to grow up sometime. This is just too depressing. I just pray that we can have a continuous youth service where God comes in anytime and just hang out. The end result would be that it's just normal.