I'm not always happy to be me

Sometime I wake up in the morning, I look at myself in the mirror knowing that a hairdo reflects the personality that I'm feeling today. I look and stare at my skin really closely, to the point that I can spot every single pimple that are currently growing on my face. At times I can tell whether or not my face has cleared up, other times it seems as if my face has become the battlefield for the War of the Zits. Most people can't tell that I do have pimples, I actually don't wear make up. I just don't like it that much. So I wash my face the best I can with care knowing that they won't all disappear, however hoping that they did. I take the comb and I let untangle my hair, understanding that my hair hasn't grown that much since the night. Not that I have a problem with short hair, it's just that sometime I wish I had longer hair, because deep down I know that longer hair gives me that extra something to make me look more attractive. As if that specific day I have a need to be sexy, to be recognized for my feminity. It's weird I can't really explain it. The worst part is that half of the time it requires to look different. Sometimes looking different demands something too much to offer. For example, I won't look right playing basketball in candy curls. That is considered too extreme. Dressing up just to hang with your friends is considered too extreme. When I need that extra something for my hair or my clothes, it frustrates me. I feel like I should be better off, because nothing is helping me express what I feel I need to express. Which is my individuality, my sex appeal. So then I stare at the mirror confused and frustrated, knowing that it probably wouldn't matter anyway, right?
Then someone will come out of nowhere and tell you, that being you makes you different. You are you and that's all that matters. Somehow being you with all your problems and discomfort is a being an existing diamond in human form. Weird, huh? I am so focused on pleasing myself on the way that I want to look, that others are noticing the way that my individuality has already been expressed. Unbelievable, right?