Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Trust you once shame on you, trust you twice shame on who?

I need to understand somethings because maybe I do see things in black and white. You put your trust in everyone you meet. You keep nothing guarded and you expect those to continually treat you like an innocent little girl. You've taught me to respect others expecting others to respect me back. You made sure that I took no crap from anybody. However, when it comes to those that are genetically related to me I'm supposed to be totally transparent. If I won't take crap from a man why would I take it from my father. My grandparents are a fak and I want nothing with them. I was fine without them and I'll be fine without them. I wanted a family I could trust but they turned their backs on me without a care in the world. Now that I've grown up and I actually show potential you want me back in their life. You can make your own decisions but expect to crawl under the same relationship. Unlike you I learned from you. I saw how you suffered when they mistreated you, also how you longed for the love they owed you. You never found a happy day, not one you could count as your own. You raised me to be a woman of value. But now you want me to go against everything you taught. You know very well it has nothing to do with christianity and everything to do with survival. I can't end up like you, unloved and unwanted. So I leave them wanting me more as I erase them from my memory. It sounds harsh but I can't let them ruin me like they did you.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really admire your stance on not taking crap from family. I've always thought that you should be kind to kind people, and I've known so many families that treat each other poorly, but just shrug it off with a "But they're family..." Stick to your guns, little girl, good things walk with you.

1:45 AM  

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