I want a man I can call a friend.

I was planning on writing about alcohol. Yes this christian likes alcohol. But either way, something else came on my mind. I read a blog that a guy I knew wrote about me a few years ago. I didn't even know he wrote about me until last year. It made me sad in a way when I read about it, because now i'm thinking what if? What if I had dated (even though I wasn't allowed) would I be craving a boyfriend, like I am now? I know I did the right choice by obeying my parents by keeping myself away from boys, but is that why I am currently thinking about this one guy that I totally despise but can still see myself with. I don't want him as a man(Lord knows that would be a mistake) but at the same time I've grown to like him. I once had a crush on him (when I was young and stupid) but with all his flaws I still think he's kind of adorable. I'm not crushing on him anymore, and I wouldn't want to. But he's the only guy I know, that is actually my age. In fact that is probably why I can see myself with him, because I don't know any other guys like I know him. In fact most of the time, most friends I meet I end up leaving within two years. This guy I've known for at least 4 years. I think that's it. If I met more guys and got to know them maybe I wouldn't be so wanting him to be my friend. It's not like I want the boyfriend I just want the male companionship. I want to have a close friend that is a guy. Someone I can chill with as if I was chillin' with homegirl. I know so many girls it's like I'm missing another side to my reality that is male side of the reality, or maybe I should say my reality. I just want a man, that I can call a friend.