Too Precious

It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, who you hang out with, and what your social status is... you matter to someone out there in this universe. If it's not your father, it's your mother, if neither your siblings; if none of them then your soulmate. Whether or not they live two blocks down the street, or they're on the other side of this world, you matter to someone. Most people say life is too precious to worry about the little things, that's when I think they are wrong. I say people are too precious to worry about the little things.
I envied this girl I know, because she could charm all the guys I liked even the ones I couldn't stand she could attract. Tonight, I saw her distorted, tortured, lost and in anguish. She had just witnessed the effects of drunk driving as she waited for her bus outside her house. A man walking his dog, got ran over by a drunk driver as he was crossing the street, minding his own business. As she stood there, she saw a man and a dog fly off the vehicle, on friday, starry night, and get ran over. The driver trying to not commit murder, but also committing a hit-and-run.
This is life I guess, one dies and another is born. While one dies, unfairly, one is born unjustified, with missing limbs, and a disfunctional brain, or even worse a disfunctional family. We all deserve some rights to being selfish, in my opinion, but people are too important to lose. We keep hurting and hurting, and we never fully express ourselves to one another expecting the other to read our minds. And the results are...nothing but more pain. Nothing gets accomplished, instead we become more and more disfunctional. To the point that society agrees that disregarding religious faith is ok. What in this world can keep me grounded, other than my Christianity huh? Everything else tears me apart, to the point that I can't stand on own two feet anymore.
I tried changing my attitude and doing new things but I can't. Everything is stopping me. I can't fully be free in my mind, because it's wrong, I can't talk, it makes me look weak. I can't rebel because then I am the enemy of the state. What's left for me to do other than drive myself crazy pretending to be someone I am not everywhere that I go. That's all there is to it, I am lost in a tormented whirl of lies. Where no one can listen to a word I am saying. WHAT IS LEFT FOR ME TO DO? Nothing, because people are too precious, to give up on. The greatest gift we possess is our individuality, the only light we can offer to one another.

Raw means...

When I think of myself, and how unused, emotionally I am it is quite frightening. Many people my age have experience vulnerability and uncomfortability at a certain moment in their life. Yet whether good or bad consequences followed after that, it provided them with a temporary lustful desire that tickled their spine. So much that just thinking about that event makes them blush. I can not say that I have had that experience yet, and I do not think I would want to. My time has passed for such chills. However, I must imply that I wish I could have experienced that thrills, that drives the mind wild to its fullest extent. There's no other way to say it but to say...Just keep living the life God gave you. Of course, that doesn't mean you need to go have sex with whomever you see, but live and love. It's better to live and fall, then to just play life safely. There's too much to experience...and too little time. So live for it is your duty to do so. So raw means...life, live life the way your meant to...with precautions of course!

A la Mode

There's nothing like this
I know it, you miss
Me like dog after his bone
I wanna make it known
That guys like you
Fall for girls like me
If you wanna hear the truth
The role I play is yet to be

Chorus:
This is me, A la Mode
Apple pie, A la Mode
Fashion wise, love my style
Lovely is A la Mode

I'm a princess, pampered nice
Show with less, but more than twice
Fabulous, is the game
Cover girl is the name
I can play the secret spy
I can your butterfly
I'm a doll, attractive
Beware cause love is so addictive

It's Gotta Be Like That...

I never understand
Why things can't go my way
It's one that I don't comprehend
I won't deal with this today
What happened, I still don't know
And now it's time to grow
Let me in on the plan
Jesus I'm in your hand

So when things get a little crazy
My thoughts are becoming hazy
The world sees me differently
Just remember

Chorus:
It's gotta be like that
Or else you will fall
It's gotta be like that
Because your name He will call
It's gotta be like that
If you wanna play the game
It's gotta be like that
So, when it's crazy call His name

In times of trouble
I call on Your name
When the billows rolls
I can't feel Your grace
And mercy is miles away
I can't find my smile today
Lord I need You more than ever
I wanna spend my whole forever

Who Am I?

Who am I really? Do I really wanna know? If the truth will set me free, is it really worth all the pain? What am I getting at? Well, half the time a girl like me, wants to be the sexy, crazy sista she sees in the movies. This girl gets the boys, the brains and the friends just because she's so funky and lovable. Yet, that's not me. Or I could be the quiet, nerd who attracts the jock because we attract. But I'm too loud for that. So who am I? Really I'm just the girl who listens to music, and starts to cry due to a single phrase sang by the singer. I pray every night, that my situation is just a dream, a horrible nightmare I got stuck in. My academic life, I have no social life, and I'm not interested in much. But I still hold and continue to pursue a dream, or maybe a hope that dwells within me. Is it worth it? Maybe, but right now I just want to go to sleep. The only drug, that can allow me to escape the harsh reality of my world. So, is it worth it? If happiness in the long run is worth the screaming, the nagging, and the insecurities within me, then I guess so.