Charisma is a gift or is it?

Are people just born nice, or is it an acquired trait? Do they go to charisma school and learn to fit in? I mean it's like you can meet the gorgeous man ever and the most "intellectual" conversation you had was about whether or not Tupac Shakur truly is dead. Whereas another man can come along, not have the greatest physical features but the confidence is so high and humility is off the chart that you can not help but fall in love with them. What is that all about? Has the world gone mad? I know and understand that it's not about the looks, that I do get, but it seems that lately my female friends either have a boyfriend or do not, understandibly. However those without the boyfriend will start hating on every guy they have seen, they talk as if each and every guy they is not fine enough to be seen around with them. However when they do see a guy who's looks is 5.5 on a scale from 1 to 10, they seem to go crazy. Especially if they end up dating, they go around acting like the guy would win any beauty contest thrown at them, when the world knows that the guy still a whole lot of plastic surgery before he can even be classified not-so-ugly. I am not trying to be mean nor be cynical, but some of us ladies need to calm down. If your man ain't that good looking let it go. If it's his sense of humor that sweeped you off your feet then show that off, but do not talk about how fine he is when he truly is not. I understand that God did not create any ugly person, but there are those who are exceptionally fine, and to those fine-looking fellows be a man, and do not be over-confident, that is why the ugly guys get your girlfriends. Gentlemen please remain gentlemen. Ask a girl out, do not let her ask you out, then you just lost your manhood with that girl. It's like they say if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Are there any hope for beautiful girls in this world, it seems as if the world has flipped up upside-down. So is charisma a gift? Or is it all an act to get the girl? If you have charisma should you not be able to keep that charisma wherever you go? So fellows stay smooth, charismatic adn confident. IF you are a player please play the game according to the rules.

I did not get what I wanted

I went to church this friday, for our youth service and I don't know I guess I expected something more. I don't know why I always expect some great wave of the Holy Ghost to come down on us. Within that wave some of us would drown in the spirit and right there unprecedented miracles would occur. But it was the same as every other one. It just made me upset. I could see the potential and smell success, and I left more empty than the way I went in. I have not felt that way in a long time. The times that I feel that way is when I miss one Sunday and that's usually when I have work. I don't understand why I feel so down. It's like I should have came out of there feeling the way I usually do on a Sunday afternoon, by then the Holy Ghost has already cleared me of any spiritual attack and gets me going for another week. I want to reach the goal so bad. But those around me won't let me. If I could I'd make the journey alone and step up every chance I get. I'm so in love with praise. There's something about it, whenever it's time to do it a song comes to mind. My throat begins to formulate a note, my mind picks up the key and adds a tone to, my mouth controls the shape of the sound and all together a melody has been sung to please the Lord who created me with such a gift. That is why I must praise Him with such voice. I did not choose to be at the level I am at, but life is too short to just sit around and play. What happens when all is gone? I just that everyone would see this my way. That we are each other's support. Everytime I enter the House of God I am glad, I get on the keyboard and I begin to sing. It's like therapy, no like a drug that I am addicted. Once you take that away I am no longer the same. I begin to have negatice withdrawal symptoms. My brain can not function without it. It's the only thing that keeps me happy, sane, and alive. So when I left I was disappointed in myself, and in my friends. In myself because maybe I did something wrong. I probably said something wrong, but I will not apologize because we have to grow up sometime. This is just too depressing. I just pray that we can have a continuous youth service where God comes in anytime and just hang out. The end result would be that it's just normal.

A letter to My Mother...

Dear Mother,

You may never get to read this, and that is because I'd rather show you what I feel instead of telling you how I feel. You know me better than I know myself. You have given me some of the answers to life's toughest questions. You allowed me to grow and to become the lady sitting at this computer. You took a pile of mud that no one saw and turned it into the most valuable jar at the market. Yet you still boast through your modesty, of how you did not accomplish your best, when your best is right in front of you. You are the reason why I can say I love you. You are my need through the good times and the bad. You have the love and patience of an angel, and your touch is all I need to cool down a heated fever. You are all I need in my life. I thank you and I love you with all I own.

Sincerely,
Your daughter.