This is just a story

I met Jason in a dance studio. In fact he was my dance instructor. I wanted to improve my dancing abilities. I had finally mastered some dancing moves, but at times I felt awkward on the dance floor. So I took a class and decided to take a year of dancing. I took hip hop of course. Mainly because I knew it was easier than tango or samba or even contemporary. I knew if I wanted some of dignity left I should take hip hop. I entered the room and there he was. He was easy on the eyes. His mocha latte complexation did fit his brown chocolate eyes. Of course that's the first thing I noticed. His eyes spoke when his lips didn't move. His eyes danced when his body stayed still. It had a voice of its own. He was very nice. Very eager to teach and to dance. He picked on me a lot. Mainly because I was the tallest in the class besides him. Of course the myth is that tall people can't dance. But I was ready to prove that wrong. At least I was hoping that I could prove that I could dance before proving that myth wrong. Many of the girls found him attractive. Even though we all knew he had a girlfriend. Her name was Melissa...I think. Either way she was his girlfriend. We didn't know too much about her. She hardly ever came to the dance studio. However when we did see her, she was so nice to everybody. Many girls tried to break them up. But Jason always stopped it. He knew better than that. He liked her and cared for her a lot. Or so we thought.
One night we had been practicing for a competition. We were to compete in the regionals as new dancers. OF course I was excited. I had never done that before. The fact that he had picked me to be part of that dance routine was perfect. I wasn't the lady in the routine but nonetheless I was ecstatic. So one night as we were tightening up the routine it came near the ending time of the practice and he asked me to stay later. That didn't bother I didn't have anything better to do. Besides it didn't surprise me either I was the one causing the most trouble. See, I didn't how to be sexy. The routine was meant to be sexy, vivacious and hot. I was just sexless and awkward. I basically provided mediocrity in the dance portion and nothing with my body language. You can imagine how frustrated he was.
SO after practice he spoke to me and basically said that if I couldn't provide him with sexiness I would be cut. I was shocked I think I was even about to cry. I knew I was trying my best to give him what he wanted. But it just would not come out. I tried explaining to him but he wouldn't listen. Instead he turned on the music. He commanded for me to dance. I danced until I had nothing left in my bones. He turned off the music and looked at me. Then he told me to stand up straight, shoulders back and my eyes never leaving his. So I stared straight at him. His eyes locked in mine. He walked away and turned on the music. He walked straight over to me and locked his eyes in mine. He held my back and I flinched. My face turned and caught my stare yet again. I understood what he meant. I was to listen to the music not my brain. So I did. He held my back with right hand, I held his neck with my left. I moved as he lead me. He came in closer and I could smell his body odor like it was mine. But I just dismissed the thought. His pelvis joined with mine, his chest touching mine, the swaying begins and can't seem to stop. For once I'm in the zone and the tension starts to build. I wanted him there in that position and it felt so right. He moves to the wall and moves my body with a single stroke from his fingers. He let's me know that I finally got it. His eyes leave mine and I just keep dancing. The music stops and his heartbeat keeps us going. His eyes return to my gaze. His lips are pressed against mine. The feeling has now erupted as we are entangled in a game of fools. We kissed numbly not seeing the future from our actions. We open our eyes and move from each other. We can't say a word to each other. He apologizes and I do the same. Vowing not to speak of this to anyone. But problem is that it happened and the motion are proof of the words not the music.

More than a month

It's been more than a month since I last wrote in. I've been thinking awhile trying to figure it out. Then I realized that I couldn't figure it out. Or maybe I had an epiphamy. I don't know. At the beginning of August, I made some changes in my life. As my mother announced that we were going on vacation. I saw it as an oportunity to start something new. In finding myself I needed to try other things. I needed to truly take control of my destiny. My life is a car and I need to be the driver. I can stay miserable in Mietta, stay comfortable in my honda or start driving a Rollers-Royce. I'm the driver it's all up to me. So knowing that I was uncomfortable in my current state I knew then that I had to upgrade my life. I quit my job for one that pays better, I worked out a schedule for school that I enjoyed(actually God did it's all good), I took two music courses and one spanish and I took a temporary leave from the church choir. I knew I had to get away I had become to attached and with that came a family, which I am very grateful for, but then again I was spending so much time with them that I lost touch of my reality. I also needed to get my grades and spend time with people my own age. I am blessed. I feel so good about me. My past, my present and my future. I feel so good. I just got a new cell phone and am planning on getting a laptop. For once things are finally starting to go my way. If someone had told me 6 months ago things would go my way I probably would not have believed them. For all of you reading this, I am a witness that a person can have their cake and eat it too, no matter how old you are.